God,
Hold within your hand
this broken and stained man.
ready to serve
working up the nerve
to be where he is called.
Instructed from above,
working with love.
Even in this place
I can see your face,
though often to it we're blinded
Give me the strength
to go the length,
this is where I should be
because you are with me
I love you and I follow.
Written 8/9/10
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday 8/9/10
5 am.......wake-up call, with the little sleep I had five was too soon. Went out and got my clothes from the hot box. Seems it only kills off bugs and not smells, the clothes were still dirty and smelled. I was sweaty and gross from the sleep, so putting on my dirty clothes only doubled the problem.
Went downstairs, grabbed my stuff and sat in the auditorium. Service was basic and seemed most slept through it. After the service was breakfast.
Breakfast was oatmeal and bananas. Luckily they did have coffee, so my headache was not too bad. Before leaving I asked one of the staff for a toothbrush. After giving me a lot of huffing and puffing, he finally went off and tried to find one. I was overjoyed when he gave me one.
I walked out the door and headed for downtown. As I was walking down S. Canal, Jamal ran over and asked where I was going, I told him "just moving on". He said goodbye and God bless.
Got to downtown and found a spot to sit. Sitting on the corner of S. Wabash and Jackson in a corner journaling and playing harmonica. The looks and glares could have cut me up. My spot in the doorway did not work, tried using sign #1 with no luck. One lady said "I have no money, but i have this" (handed me a jehovahs witness pamphlet.) An officer told me to move because I couldn't sid in the doorway (can't sit in an abandoned doorway?) So I walked up to Millenium park. It had bathrooms and fountains which was nice to find.
Decided to walk all the way up to the Hancock. Sat at the south side of the Michigan Ave. entrance to the Chicago Water Works. Used Signs 2 and 3. I was given $28 and a granola bar. Used $21 to buy a cheap backpack at Walgreens. I got a lot of 'good lucks', a few 'take cares' and one lady passing by said to her boyfriend "I hate the homeless". God booted from the Water Works site once again by the cops.
Walked back to Millenium Park. Slept on the hill near the bean.
It is strange feeling so alone and outcast from those around you. loneliness is not a fun living style.
Another bum asked me to buy him a hotdog. I told him that I had no money and have been asking on the streets too. I feel really bad now, I have $10 on me. Should I have bought it?
(I miss Molly a lot at this point. It is hard to go from a place of feeling loved to a place where you are rejected. There is such a need for relationship.)
Went out into the city again and sat for a bit longer with no luck. Held up sign number 4. Met another homeless guy who tried to show me the ropes. No luck with his help. We talked for a minute and turns out he was an alcoholic, but was not interested in talking any farther.
While sleeping in the park later that day, I saw a chick about my age sleeping near where I was lying. Asked her if she was homeless of there for the concert. She said that she was homeless and had been living as a squatter for 12 years. She asked me if I had clean socks then tossed me a clean pair. We talked for a bit and she said that I could join her on her journey. Told her that I would think about it.
We packed up and went to downtown. She had worn the same pair for pants for about a year and wanted to buy a new pair. We went to Old Navy and Macys. After she finally found a pair we headed over to Borders to get some coffee. She bought me a cup of coffee. We sat, while she charged her phone, and talked. She said that she wanted to know me if I was going to stick around.
(Continued under monday night)
Map of Downtown
Signs
#1 - I only need Food & a backpack God bless
#2 - I need Food & a backpack Thank you God bless
#3 - food.............$10
backpack..........$20
making some ones life better.........priceless
#4 - I just want food
Went downstairs, grabbed my stuff and sat in the auditorium. Service was basic and seemed most slept through it. After the service was breakfast.
Breakfast was oatmeal and bananas. Luckily they did have coffee, so my headache was not too bad. Before leaving I asked one of the staff for a toothbrush. After giving me a lot of huffing and puffing, he finally went off and tried to find one. I was overjoyed when he gave me one.
I walked out the door and headed for downtown. As I was walking down S. Canal, Jamal ran over and asked where I was going, I told him "just moving on". He said goodbye and God bless.
Got to downtown and found a spot to sit. Sitting on the corner of S. Wabash and Jackson in a corner journaling and playing harmonica. The looks and glares could have cut me up. My spot in the doorway did not work, tried using sign #1 with no luck. One lady said "I have no money, but i have this" (handed me a jehovahs witness pamphlet.) An officer told me to move because I couldn't sid in the doorway (can't sit in an abandoned doorway?) So I walked up to Millenium park. It had bathrooms and fountains which was nice to find.
Decided to walk all the way up to the Hancock. Sat at the south side of the Michigan Ave. entrance to the Chicago Water Works. Used Signs 2 and 3. I was given $28 and a granola bar. Used $21 to buy a cheap backpack at Walgreens. I got a lot of 'good lucks', a few 'take cares' and one lady passing by said to her boyfriend "I hate the homeless". God booted from the Water Works site once again by the cops.
Walked back to Millenium Park. Slept on the hill near the bean.
It is strange feeling so alone and outcast from those around you. loneliness is not a fun living style.
Another bum asked me to buy him a hotdog. I told him that I had no money and have been asking on the streets too. I feel really bad now, I have $10 on me. Should I have bought it?
(I miss Molly a lot at this point. It is hard to go from a place of feeling loved to a place where you are rejected. There is such a need for relationship.)
Went out into the city again and sat for a bit longer with no luck. Held up sign number 4. Met another homeless guy who tried to show me the ropes. No luck with his help. We talked for a minute and turns out he was an alcoholic, but was not interested in talking any farther.
While sleeping in the park later that day, I saw a chick about my age sleeping near where I was lying. Asked her if she was homeless of there for the concert. She said that she was homeless and had been living as a squatter for 12 years. She asked me if I had clean socks then tossed me a clean pair. We talked for a bit and she said that I could join her on her journey. Told her that I would think about it.
We packed up and went to downtown. She had worn the same pair for pants for about a year and wanted to buy a new pair. We went to Old Navy and Macys. After she finally found a pair we headed over to Borders to get some coffee. She bought me a cup of coffee. We sat, while she charged her phone, and talked. She said that she wanted to know me if I was going to stick around.
(Continued under monday night)
Map of Downtown
Signs
#1 - I only need Food & a backpack God bless
#2 - I need Food & a backpack Thank you God bless
#3 - food.............$10
backpack..........$20
making some ones life better.........priceless
#4 - I just want food
Journal of a homeless man
Some of you know That I lived Homeless this past week. I will be entering my journals throughout the week for you all to read and start to understand what I went through.
Enjoy
-Ben
Enjoy
-Ben
Sunday 8/8/10
Arrived at Josh's around 4 (central time). Dropped off the my stuff, chatted for a bit, and left. Drove down to Gino's east and had some deep dish. We went to Millenium park so that Steph could see a bit of the city.
We drove down to Dominicks on S Canal St. (2 blocks from PGM) to go to the bathroom. I hadn't told Molly that this was where they were going to leave me. Gave Molly the keys when she came out of the bathroom. Gave Steph a hug goodbye, then embraced Molly. Grabbed my stuff (my trash bag with a towel, bible, journal, pen, marker, and granola bar)
Headed down the street, turned out to be only 2 blocks down. Pacific Garden Mission, one of the largest shelters in the Mid-West, was my first nights destination. It was very intimidating to walk into such a place for the first time and have no idea what you are supposed to do.
I saw a first time counselor when I first arrived there. He talked with me about salvation and went over the rules with me (this should have told me what I was in for). I had to turn over my knife, so I am now unarmed. I kinda wish that I hadn't told him, I could have stashed it in my bag and they wouldn't have known. Now looking back at it, I am glad that I had to give up my knife. It really made me put my trust for my safety in God and not in my weapon.
Met another young guy when I was first walking in, named Jamal Sat next to him during the service. He was very friendly and joyful. I did not see him too much until later in the week.
Before we could sleep, we had to attend a service from 8 to 9. Annoying gospel hour trying too hard to convert everybody. Most of the guys slept through it. When the service was finally done we were able to start heading upstairs for bed.
Showers are required every night before bed. You have to put your clothes on hangers in a "hot box", which heats up the clothes in order to kill off anything that might be living in them. We showered in large rooms together. We were given hospital gowns to wear for bed if we did not have a change of clothes. The bunks were two high and had two on each side. I kept knocking into the metal divider between the beds and ticked off the guy across from me.
I had a very hard time sleeping the first night. It was uncomfortable and hot all night. In a room full of guys with little air conditioning the room remained very hot. The hospital gown was strange and I felt too exposed. I was soo far out of my comfort zone that I could not sleep.
We drove down to Dominicks on S Canal St. (2 blocks from PGM) to go to the bathroom. I hadn't told Molly that this was where they were going to leave me. Gave Molly the keys when she came out of the bathroom. Gave Steph a hug goodbye, then embraced Molly. Grabbed my stuff (my trash bag with a towel, bible, journal, pen, marker, and granola bar)
Headed down the street, turned out to be only 2 blocks down. Pacific Garden Mission, one of the largest shelters in the Mid-West, was my first nights destination. It was very intimidating to walk into such a place for the first time and have no idea what you are supposed to do.
I saw a first time counselor when I first arrived there. He talked with me about salvation and went over the rules with me (this should have told me what I was in for). I had to turn over my knife, so I am now unarmed. I kinda wish that I hadn't told him, I could have stashed it in my bag and they wouldn't have known. Now looking back at it, I am glad that I had to give up my knife. It really made me put my trust for my safety in God and not in my weapon.
Met another young guy when I was first walking in, named Jamal Sat next to him during the service. He was very friendly and joyful. I did not see him too much until later in the week.
Before we could sleep, we had to attend a service from 8 to 9. Annoying gospel hour trying too hard to convert everybody. Most of the guys slept through it. When the service was finally done we were able to start heading upstairs for bed.
Showers are required every night before bed. You have to put your clothes on hangers in a "hot box", which heats up the clothes in order to kill off anything that might be living in them. We showered in large rooms together. We were given hospital gowns to wear for bed if we did not have a change of clothes. The bunks were two high and had two on each side. I kept knocking into the metal divider between the beds and ticked off the guy across from me.
I had a very hard time sleeping the first night. It was uncomfortable and hot all night. In a room full of guys with little air conditioning the room remained very hot. The hospital gown was strange and I felt too exposed. I was soo far out of my comfort zone that I could not sleep.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Homeless in Chicago
Maybe I and just crazy, or maybe I'm on to something. This next week I will be living homeless in Chicago. I won't have my cell or credit cards on me. Just trying to survive and learn from the experience.
About this time last year God put it on my heart to do this. After a year of planning and praying it is finally here. I don't know what is in store, but I am sure that God will put people and experience in the way for me. I feel like this is where I am supposed to go, God has out peace in my mind about the trip.
It is still going to cost me money to get there but very little will be needed for finances otherwise.
As far as support I really need your prayers for me on this trip. I am not worried about the trip but it definitely needs to be bathed in prayer.
Next week I will be daily posting my journal on the blog. I figure it would be good to keep a daily journal of what goes on and I will put that up for all of you to read. Pray for my safety, my ministry and connecting with people on the street, safety traveling for me and my girlfriend who is bringing me.
Thank you all for your support and prayers, let's see what God does.
God bless
-B3n
About this time last year God put it on my heart to do this. After a year of planning and praying it is finally here. I don't know what is in store, but I am sure that God will put people and experience in the way for me. I feel like this is where I am supposed to go, God has out peace in my mind about the trip.
It is still going to cost me money to get there but very little will be needed for finances otherwise.
As far as support I really need your prayers for me on this trip. I am not worried about the trip but it definitely needs to be bathed in prayer.
Next week I will be daily posting my journal on the blog. I figure it would be good to keep a daily journal of what goes on and I will put that up for all of you to read. Pray for my safety, my ministry and connecting with people on the street, safety traveling for me and my girlfriend who is bringing me.
Thank you all for your support and prayers, let's see what God does.
God bless
-B3n
Friday, January 8, 2010
Chicago Summer 2010
I have not had too much activity recently that I have put up on here. I figure that I would share my newest plans with you all. Please keep me in prayer as I do this, I really need it.
This coming summer I will be living in Chicago homeless.........
Yep you heard that right living in Chicago, IL as a homeless man. I will have nothing with me but an old raggedy backpack and beat up old guitar. My plan is to preach and talk to the homeless. Play worship in the park for all to hear and play on the streets for pocket change.
So often we minister to the homeless without truly knowing and feeling their situation. "You don't know a man until you walk a mile in his shoes" or something like that. So I figure why not try it out for a little bit?
I will be dropping money and unnecessary ID's with the YWAM base downtown, so that I have an out if it gets to be too much.
Christ called us to go and take nothing and that is exactly what I will be doing.
Please keep me in prayer through this time.
-Ben
This coming summer I will be living in Chicago homeless.........
Yep you heard that right living in Chicago, IL as a homeless man. I will have nothing with me but an old raggedy backpack and beat up old guitar. My plan is to preach and talk to the homeless. Play worship in the park for all to hear and play on the streets for pocket change.
So often we minister to the homeless without truly knowing and feeling their situation. "You don't know a man until you walk a mile in his shoes" or something like that. So I figure why not try it out for a little bit?
I will be dropping money and unnecessary ID's with the YWAM base downtown, so that I have an out if it gets to be too much.
Christ called us to go and take nothing and that is exactly what I will be doing.
Please keep me in prayer through this time.
-Ben
Friday, October 9, 2009
A Year Later.
It has now been a year since I left YWAM Tyler. When I left I went to Delaware to stay with my parents until School started. I spent that time Working at GameStop. I left Delaware and started College Jan. 2nd 08. So I am now Living in Lima for 4 years until I graduate. It has been hard for me until lately. Since I didn't know anyone, didn't like the locals and couldn't find a good local church It has been a hard 9 months.
God is good, I have lately been hanging out with a few people at the Coffee shop I am now working at and have developed some good friendships with a few local people.
I am working towards a bachelors degree in automotive high performance and alternative fuels in business.
My hope is to get my loans paid off ASAP so that I would be able to go back into ministry full time. This has been a good time for me to really study more and dive deeper into God's word.
I would like to thank all of you that have supported me through the years. God could not have done so much through me without your help.
Next summer a few friends and I will be living in Chicago for a bit.....HOMELESS. We want to experience life through their eyes and walk a mile in their shoes. I would like to take an undercover video camera and make a documentary out of it.
Thank you
-Ben
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