Still not sure what to think of Sawyer. She was eager to get home but I found her 2 days later a few blocks from where we parted. I gave her a good amount of money, more than she said she needed, and she still was trying for more.
Sounds like she was raised in an unstable house. She and her brother learned the ways of a squatter when they were young. she was starting as a squatter/hitchhiker at the age of 10. Lived in the foster care system on and off by the age of 14. Lived with a Morman family that loved her even though she made their life rough.
Was placed in rehab at age 14 for heroine and meth. During this time learned her real mother had terminal (and soon to be fatal). While in rehab, one of her care givers started talking to her about Christ. Sounds like he made an impact on her life and opinion of Christians.
Has traveled all over the country. Calls Seattle home and stays in San Francisco often. Goes by either Damie or Sawyer. Well known by squatters and beatniks in such areas.
Believes there is a God, but not sure exactly whom. Feels that you cant dismiss an epiphany and every person should believe what they feel.
Has a brother working out of Seattle. They speak often and have a good relationship. Brother makes a good amount of money and has a nice house. They agree to disagree on each others lifestyle.
Pray for: Safety, wisdom, open heart to hear from God, Godly influences in her life, peace in her heart, and what ever else you can think to pray for.
James1:27
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Social Experiment (signs 9 & 9.5)
08/12/10
Started with sign #9 and decided it was not big enough. I re-wrote the sign to make it bigger and easier to read.
When holding out sign, people would often pass by without looking. Some would not try to see and others would not look out of instinct. Children would almost always look and read my signs.
I held the sign up for 30 minutes. I had 2 people stop and stare, but did not say anything. I received 4 responses and a few people looked as they passed.
For children, who the world is still good and adventurous, a person with a sign is a sad thing. Children are not yet trained to look away. Kids seemed more open to seeing people around them.
Have we become a people blinded to things around us? Do we try our best to not see problems that surround us? With so many panhandlers lying and cheating are we inclined to ignore all of the homeless around us? have we set in our minds that they are all not worth helping?
Now sitting and writing this for all of you, I wonder; what would Christ do? Would he pass them by, or would he love them where they at?
Sign
9 & 9.5 - "Can you even see me?"
Started with sign #9 and decided it was not big enough. I re-wrote the sign to make it bigger and easier to read.
When holding out sign, people would often pass by without looking. Some would not try to see and others would not look out of instinct. Children would almost always look and read my signs.
I held the sign up for 30 minutes. I had 2 people stop and stare, but did not say anything. I received 4 responses and a few people looked as they passed.
For children, who the world is still good and adventurous, a person with a sign is a sad thing. Children are not yet trained to look away. Kids seemed more open to seeing people around them.
Have we become a people blinded to things around us? Do we try our best to not see problems that surround us? With so many panhandlers lying and cheating are we inclined to ignore all of the homeless around us? have we set in our minds that they are all not worth helping?
Now sitting and writing this for all of you, I wonder; what would Christ do? Would he pass them by, or would he love them where they at?
Sign
9 & 9.5 - "Can you even see me?"
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
How I Feel 8/12/10
Have I tried hard enough to connect with others on the street? Have I missed opportunities that God had for me? what else is there for me to do? Lord, please provide more for me and lead me in your way.
Sawyer was trying to sell jokes last night. I hope she isn't out of money. I have her $80, and I thought it would be more than enough.
I am so ready to be home. My mind seems to dwell too much on how I'm going to survive until leave. I need to focus on the now.
My feet are killing me. I have walked a lot and now they hurt. I should have asked for money to buy a train ticked before walking that distance, but it is good for me.
Sawyer was trying to sell jokes last night. I hope she isn't out of money. I have her $80, and I thought it would be more than enough.
I am so ready to be home. My mind seems to dwell too much on how I'm going to survive until leave. I need to focus on the now.
My feet are killing me. I have walked a lot and now they hurt. I should have asked for money to buy a train ticked before walking that distance, but it is good for me.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday 8/12/10
Finally gave up on finding a place to get bug spray. It was way too late to be wandering around the city. Decided to sleep at the plaza by the Court building again. Once again I got kicked out by security at about five in the morning. Wandered over to Millenium park again. Bathrooms were closed, but at least I could refill my empty water bottles at the fountain. I did pee in the doorway though, had to go and figured I would "do it like the homeless".
Me at the Courthouse plaza during a US outreach with YWAM in 08
Slept in the park for a while. Got up after a few hours and headed to Cafe Descartes. Sat and did some writing for a bit.
Wandered for a bit because I was not sure what I was going to do. Walked up to the Water Works. Jumped on a train back to Lake and walked up to the park by the library. Rested for a bit and decided to do a bible study of Romans and Proverbs.
Sat at the southwest corner of the park by the library (I believe it is called Pritzer Park). Used sign #5,6,7, and 8 receiving two granola bars. I was not getting very far with them so I tried a new thing.
Sign 9 & 9.5 were not asking for anything, but more of a test to wee what people would do. I got 4 answers and a few stares. A guy named Paul stopped and talked for a minute, then went to CVS to get me some food. After holding my sign up for a few minutes longer, Paul came back. He handed me a bag with chocolate milk, cashews, and almond cookies. He stopped and talked with me for a while.
Paul and I talked about traveling, government, business, cars, and life. I didn't get any opportunity for witness. He was homeless by choice and had been doing it for years. He wanted to stick it to the government by staying off the radar. He gave me a fake $1,000,000 bill and a used bus pass good for another 4 hours. Paul got up and told me, "don't forget, there is always hope", then left.
After Paul left I got up and tried to find another homeless person to give the food. I finally found the lady who sits at the McDonalds by the courthouse. Gave her the food (minus the milk) and continued on me way to PGM.
I jumped on the redline to Roosevelt. Walked over to PGM, this would be my last stay. I did not want to beg for dinner that night, and I wanted a shower. Tried to start up conversations with the guys around me, but they were not very responsive.
On the way upstairs I ran into Jamal. He had signed up with PGM for their biblical training classes and work program. He was excited to see me again. When I told him that I would be leaving town and moving on he was excited for me.
Got a shower and it felt amazing. I'm glad that the guys around there were mostly helpful and easy going, they gave me a bit of shampoo and told me where to get a job (all while I was in the shower). I finally got my shoes and socks off and I checked my feet............2 blisters, no wonder they hurt soo much.
Signs
5 - I just need some food
6 - Homeless & need food, God Bless
7 - Why so quick to judge?
8 - God Bless you
9 - Can you even see me? (9.5 was the same with larger wording)
Me at the Courthouse plaza during a US outreach with YWAM in 08
Slept in the park for a while. Got up after a few hours and headed to Cafe Descartes. Sat and did some writing for a bit.
Wandered for a bit because I was not sure what I was going to do. Walked up to the Water Works. Jumped on a train back to Lake and walked up to the park by the library. Rested for a bit and decided to do a bible study of Romans and Proverbs.
Sat at the southwest corner of the park by the library (I believe it is called Pritzer Park). Used sign #5,6,7, and 8 receiving two granola bars. I was not getting very far with them so I tried a new thing.
Sign 9 & 9.5 were not asking for anything, but more of a test to wee what people would do. I got 4 answers and a few stares. A guy named Paul stopped and talked for a minute, then went to CVS to get me some food. After holding my sign up for a few minutes longer, Paul came back. He handed me a bag with chocolate milk, cashews, and almond cookies. He stopped and talked with me for a while.
Paul and I talked about traveling, government, business, cars, and life. I didn't get any opportunity for witness. He was homeless by choice and had been doing it for years. He wanted to stick it to the government by staying off the radar. He gave me a fake $1,000,000 bill and a used bus pass good for another 4 hours. Paul got up and told me, "don't forget, there is always hope", then left.
After Paul left I got up and tried to find another homeless person to give the food. I finally found the lady who sits at the McDonalds by the courthouse. Gave her the food (minus the milk) and continued on me way to PGM.
I jumped on the redline to Roosevelt. Walked over to PGM, this would be my last stay. I did not want to beg for dinner that night, and I wanted a shower. Tried to start up conversations with the guys around me, but they were not very responsive.
On the way upstairs I ran into Jamal. He had signed up with PGM for their biblical training classes and work program. He was excited to see me again. When I told him that I would be leaving town and moving on he was excited for me.
Got a shower and it felt amazing. I'm glad that the guys around there were mostly helpful and easy going, they gave me a bit of shampoo and told me where to get a job (all while I was in the shower). I finally got my shoes and socks off and I checked my feet............2 blisters, no wonder they hurt soo much.
Signs
5 - I just need some food
6 - Homeless & need food, God Bless
7 - Why so quick to judge?
8 - God Bless you
9 - Can you even see me? (9.5 was the same with larger wording)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
How I Feel 8/11/10
I want and miss the comforts I had before. My clothes haven't been washed all week and they smell terrible. I always want another shower and some floss. It is very testing to have less than $5 to your name at all times.
I hate being around people. Beyond the normal separation from people on the streets, people try more to stay away from you. I am dirty and smelly, most people won't get near me.
It feels very low to hold up signs asking for food. Most people will only toss you money, they don't seem to want to deal with you. Can I blame them? It is very outside of the comfort zone to do such a thing. Do people want to be inconvenienced by trying to help somebody else?
BTW! Where are the Christians? I'm not sure what Pat was or some of the people who gave me money. Paolo was, I'm pretty sure, not a Christian. The lady who handed me the pamphlet (or was it a comic book?) was a Jehovah's Witness. Who is willing to speak love and life into such as I?
So far i haven't been comfortable when and where I sleep, but I have not felt unsafe. God has and will keep my safe and secure, but still letting me go places and be in situations that are uncomfortable and unsheltered.
I wonder if I am getting help more than others on the street asking for help. I am obviously not crazy, drugged, alcoholic, or any other stereotype that can be thought up. Is my age and aura helping?
I hate being around people. Beyond the normal separation from people on the streets, people try more to stay away from you. I am dirty and smelly, most people won't get near me.
It feels very low to hold up signs asking for food. Most people will only toss you money, they don't seem to want to deal with you. Can I blame them? It is very outside of the comfort zone to do such a thing. Do people want to be inconvenienced by trying to help somebody else?
BTW! Where are the Christians? I'm not sure what Pat was or some of the people who gave me money. Paolo was, I'm pretty sure, not a Christian. The lady who handed me the pamphlet (or was it a comic book?) was a Jehovah's Witness. Who is willing to speak love and life into such as I?
So far i haven't been comfortable when and where I sleep, but I have not felt unsafe. God has and will keep my safe and secure, but still letting me go places and be in situations that are uncomfortable and unsheltered.
I wonder if I am getting help more than others on the street asking for help. I am obviously not crazy, drugged, alcoholic, or any other stereotype that can be thought up. Is my age and aura helping?
Handing It Over
Oh Lord,
life is out of control,
this time I've got to let go.
I can only do so much as a man,
but I know the rest is fine in your hand.
God, thank you for the hardship.
In these times only you I will worship.
Will not the Lord of all do good?
Help me to life the best I should.
even through the pain and the sorrow,
I know that I will wake to praise you tomorrow.
For every person living on the street,
I know that your heart does break with every beat.
Thank you, Lord, for who you are and what you've done.
I will see you on the rise of this setting sun.
life is out of control,
this time I've got to let go.
I can only do so much as a man,
but I know the rest is fine in your hand.
God, thank you for the hardship.
In these times only you I will worship.
Will not the Lord of all do good?
Help me to life the best I should.
even through the pain and the sorrow,
I know that I will wake to praise you tomorrow.
For every person living on the street,
I know that your heart does break with every beat.
Thank you, Lord, for who you are and what you've done.
I will see you on the rise of this setting sun.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday 8/11/10
once again, wake up call at 5. I get more sleep on the streets, but not as clean when I'm on the streets. Service was long and ridiculous once again, but worth sitting through for breakfast. Oatmeal! Even on the streets I can't get away from it. (I have eaten oatmeal almost every morning through college, it is getting a little old.) I can't complain though, I need food.
After breakfast i left and headed back to downtown. Walked up State St. until I found and Argo Tea. I wanted to get some good java and to sit and write. Spent some time there, but I was a bit out of place.
Went over to Grant park, couldn't find anyone and decided to take a nap. Got up at about 11ish and started walking towards the Hancock building. On the way I decided to stop and call home. I ran in to the Apple store and grabbed an Iphone. I called Molly and my parents just to let them know that I was alright.
Sat at the north part of the Water Works west side entrance. While sitting at the waterworks I collected $6.80, a whoopie pie and.......food! This was the first time when I used a need food sign that I received a meal. A guy brought me over a bat with a sandwich, bagel, water and oatmeal cookie. God does provide! Tried to find another homeless person to share the meal with, but couldn't find anybody.
Chicago Water Works
Ate my lunch and started walking up to the north side of Lincoln Park (about a 6 mile walk). A few hours later I arrived at Cornerstone Community Outreach, a shelter in the uptown section of Chicago. They told me, at the door, that I need a referral to get in and could get one at the Department of Human Services down the street.
Went to the DHS and signed in. I had been waiting for over and hour when two ladies walked in from Cornerstone Community Outreach. They talked to the clerk about the skin issues they had from staying at Cornerstone. They said that they had never had any problems before they started staying there. They told me about several other people who had the same thing.
I walked out and over to another part of Lincoln Park. I figured it would be best to not stay there. Tried sleeping for a bit but it did not work, the flies wouldn't leave me alone. I found it interesting to see a few homeless couples lying in the park. I had seen a few couples like this before here and there. I find it interesting the way the guy would always stay awake while she slept. A very protective and loving act.
Got up, found a bench and decided to read some of my bible. A homeless woman came and sat next to me. She saw me reading and asked me what it was, I told her that it was my bible. We talked for a minute about the bible and she asked why i read it, told her that it was what I believed and it was very important to me. She told of another shelter nearby, so I hurried off to it. Got there quickly and found out that you are supposed to sign in at 8 a.m. that morning. I decided to buy 2 day passes and head up to the YWAM Chicago base for some more ideas what to do.
Got to the base and found out that Brad (the base leader) was out of town, and would be for another two weeks. Ruth (Brad's main assistant) had left a little over 3 weeks before. Brad's new assistant was able to talk with me for a little while, but was not able to give me any helpful advice.
I left and headed back to the Loyola red line station. I passes a church on the way and saw the bushes next to it might make for a good place to sleep behind. Would have worked great and it was very comfortable, except for the massive amount of mosquitoes. I couldn't get any sleep so i decided to go back downtown.
Got on the train and headed back downtown. Figured if I was going to sleep in the park I should buy some bug spray. When I got off the train Sawyer was sitting on the corner selling jokes. I wondered why she needed more money. Could not find a Walgreens that was open. I finally decided to sleep on the street on the first bench on the street that I could find.
After breakfast i left and headed back to downtown. Walked up State St. until I found and Argo Tea. I wanted to get some good java and to sit and write. Spent some time there, but I was a bit out of place.
Went over to Grant park, couldn't find anyone and decided to take a nap. Got up at about 11ish and started walking towards the Hancock building. On the way I decided to stop and call home. I ran in to the Apple store and grabbed an Iphone. I called Molly and my parents just to let them know that I was alright.
Sat at the north part of the Water Works west side entrance. While sitting at the waterworks I collected $6.80, a whoopie pie and.......food! This was the first time when I used a need food sign that I received a meal. A guy brought me over a bat with a sandwich, bagel, water and oatmeal cookie. God does provide! Tried to find another homeless person to share the meal with, but couldn't find anybody.
Chicago Water Works
Ate my lunch and started walking up to the north side of Lincoln Park (about a 6 mile walk). A few hours later I arrived at Cornerstone Community Outreach, a shelter in the uptown section of Chicago. They told me, at the door, that I need a referral to get in and could get one at the Department of Human Services down the street.
Went to the DHS and signed in. I had been waiting for over and hour when two ladies walked in from Cornerstone Community Outreach. They talked to the clerk about the skin issues they had from staying at Cornerstone. They said that they had never had any problems before they started staying there. They told me about several other people who had the same thing.
I walked out and over to another part of Lincoln Park. I figured it would be best to not stay there. Tried sleeping for a bit but it did not work, the flies wouldn't leave me alone. I found it interesting to see a few homeless couples lying in the park. I had seen a few couples like this before here and there. I find it interesting the way the guy would always stay awake while she slept. A very protective and loving act.
Got up, found a bench and decided to read some of my bible. A homeless woman came and sat next to me. She saw me reading and asked me what it was, I told her that it was my bible. We talked for a minute about the bible and she asked why i read it, told her that it was what I believed and it was very important to me. She told of another shelter nearby, so I hurried off to it. Got there quickly and found out that you are supposed to sign in at 8 a.m. that morning. I decided to buy 2 day passes and head up to the YWAM Chicago base for some more ideas what to do.
Got to the base and found out that Brad (the base leader) was out of town, and would be for another two weeks. Ruth (Brad's main assistant) had left a little over 3 weeks before. Brad's new assistant was able to talk with me for a little while, but was not able to give me any helpful advice.
I left and headed back to the Loyola red line station. I passes a church on the way and saw the bushes next to it might make for a good place to sleep behind. Would have worked great and it was very comfortable, except for the massive amount of mosquitoes. I couldn't get any sleep so i decided to go back downtown.
Got on the train and headed back downtown. Figured if I was going to sleep in the park I should buy some bug spray. When I got off the train Sawyer was sitting on the corner selling jokes. I wondered why she needed more money. Could not find a Walgreens that was open. I finally decided to sleep on the street on the first bench on the street that I could find.
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