I want and miss the comforts I had before. My clothes haven't been washed all week and they smell terrible. I always want another shower and some floss. It is very testing to have less than $5 to your name at all times.
I hate being around people. Beyond the normal separation from people on the streets, people try more to stay away from you. I am dirty and smelly, most people won't get near me.
It feels very low to hold up signs asking for food. Most people will only toss you money, they don't seem to want to deal with you. Can I blame them? It is very outside of the comfort zone to do such a thing. Do people want to be inconvenienced by trying to help somebody else?
BTW! Where are the Christians? I'm not sure what Pat was or some of the people who gave me money. Paolo was, I'm pretty sure, not a Christian. The lady who handed me the pamphlet (or was it a comic book?) was a Jehovah's Witness. Who is willing to speak love and life into such as I?
So far i haven't been comfortable when and where I sleep, but I have not felt unsafe. God has and will keep my safe and secure, but still letting me go places and be in situations that are uncomfortable and unsheltered.
I wonder if I am getting help more than others on the street asking for help. I am obviously not crazy, drugged, alcoholic, or any other stereotype that can be thought up. Is my age and aura helping?
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